May 7, 2016- I signed our nikkah contract, handed the pen
over to the Imam, he gave it to my (now) husband, and BAM. We were married. We
partied the night away at our mehndi event afterwards, were fed fruit from a
fruit basket, and danced the rest of the night away. Husband and I were long
distance for awhile, and are finally closing the gap now! It has been an incredible
experience so far, and being married is 100000x better than planning a wedding.
To any other brides (and grooms!) who are reading this right
now, BREATHE! You’ll be okay, and you will look fabulous and everything will be
amazing. Whatever goes wrong will make for a great story afterwards J. My own crazy story? My
family forgot his wedding band. During the nikkah ceremony, one of my
bridesmaid’s SO was at my parents’ house, being guided by my MOH to find his
band and he could not find it. Alas, we had to exchange rings at the reception
the next day. It’s pretty comical to reflect back on it now to think how
worried and frantic we all were, when we were just able to do the ring exchange
the next day anyways.
Here are some lessons I learned while planning my own
wedding that might help you as well!
1. 1- Throughout the wedding planning process, find
time to completely detox from
wedding related activities. Even if it’s just one night to binge watch a new
show on Netflix, or get dressed up and eat a fancy dessert at a café. Just
don’t let the wedding take over your ENTIRE life, because after everything is
said and done, you will return to reality and realize life is so much more than
just one event.
2. 2- Don’t feel pressured to conform to some
pre-determined wedding timeline for someone who has had a 2-year engagement
when you have 6 months. A lot of desi engagements are on the shorter end, and
you might not have as much time as the longer engagements. That’s ok because
shorter timelines help you narrow down on decisions sooner, leaving you with
less time to overanalyze simple decisions.
3. 3- Instagram is your best friend. Don’t have an
account? MAKE ONE NOW. I’ve found vendors on Instagram who are based in
Pakistan/India, contacted them through WhatsApp, and then paid them via PayPal.
As a techie, I can say this is an incredible opportunity and we live in an
awesome time where global shipping is fast and reliable. Take advantage!
4. 4- How do you search on instagram you might ask. So
here’s the thing. Because of the way instagram’s search algorithms work, as
soon as you start tapping on one vendor’s clothing page, others will start to
pop up. I started by simply typing in Pakistani clothes in to the search box.
Keep using the explore tab on the app and more and more vendors will pop up.
You can even start by following some of the vendors Hira has vetted and
mentioned in her blog.
5. 5- If a vendor isn’t working out, let them go. The
best vendors will work fluidly with you, and it will feel as if everything just
clicked in place.
6. 6- It’s ok to complain about how expensive weddings
are. A lot of us haven’t planned an event to this scale before, and the initial
sticker price can come as a shock to many folks. I was flabbergasted when I realized
how expensive it was for one person’s meal!
7. 7- Outsource as much as you can for the day of. You
do not want to be the one picking up something last minute the day of your
wedding and risk running the other events later than planned. Need something to
be picked up? Ask a friend to stop by.
8. 8- Hire an MC/day of coordinator. But specifically,
an MC. That is one of the most crucial parts of the wedding timeline, as he/she
will help the flow of the program run smoothly and hype the crowd up when
energy gets low. Make sure they are aware of the timeline in advance and they
know who your key members are.
9. 9- Do something out of the ordinary. Be creative
with any and every aspect. Guests will always remember something that was
different but make sure it is personal to your personalities. We had a
lightsaber sendoff because my hubs is a Star Wars geek. People loved it, and it
fit his personality so perfectly.
Here’s a picture of my dress! I ordered mine from Bargello,
and it turned out beautiful! I was a little hesitant to order online (never
ordered Pakistani clothes online before) but the risk paid off. I wasn’t able
to travel to Pakistan because I wanted to save my PTO for the honeymoon
instead.
Here’s some close up of the kaam! The dress was made of
three pieces, lengha, kameez, and dupatta. I finally fulfilled my obsession
with mint green J.
Lengha:
A little more detail on my kameez:
My dupatta:
My jewelry designed my momma!
Here’s a cool shot of our sendoff:
Vendors:
Hair,Makeup, dupatta, jewelry : Mahwish Ali
Mehndi: Mahek
Photography: Jon Fleming
